rockabillyboy | (no subject)

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poison

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It's not quite daylight when he lets himself into Poison's apartment. He'd showered at the hotel, but he's still wearing last night's clothes, black t-shirt, jeans, boots. He drops his wallet and his keys on the counter and pads into the bathroom, brushing his teeth before he slips into the bedroom. Poison's there and Jack finds himself relieved, even though he doesn't know what he was expecting.

The bed gives slightly when he sits down to take off his boots.

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Jack nods.

"What..." He frowns. "It feels weird to tell you about last night. Like, I don't want it to be a secret, and we can talk about it, but it does feel weird?"

"It feels weird because I'm having a really hard time being supportive about it, when I set you up to think you were gonna be supported. And that's my fault." They both could have done better. "If you wanna talk, though, just... start. And if it's too much, I'll tell you."

"We hang out a lot. You know that." Which had the sound of explanation and Jack's not sure that's what either of them want. Sure his finger isn't going to bleed everywhere, Jack goes back to chopping. "We ended up going to a hotel because...I didn't want to do it at my place."

"Kinda grateful for that, actually," Poison admits. He might've had problems being in Jack's bed for a while if he and Kav had fucked there.

"I didn't want it to have anything to do with us," says Jack. "Not in our bed, if that makes sense." Even if they do spend more time at Poison's than they ever do at his place.

Poison shrugs. "I might've handled it better if it felt like I was more involved. I know you and Kav hang out a lot, which I guess-- if this was going to happen, I figured we'd.. talk about it before it did. Like actually talk." Not have to answer a drunk text message.

"Yeah, I really am sorry about that," says Jack, blushing. "Total asshole move." He glances up, unstyled hair tumbling over his forehead. "It wasn't planned or anything. I was hanging out at work. He stripped." He shrugs. "I'm an idiot. I let my hormones get the better of me."

"I know it wasn't. But that's the point I'm trying to make. I can't handle surprises - I don't deal with them well." He's told Jack that before. "But if I'm prepared, if we talk about... I could've been better. I could've made a decision - we could've negotiated. Instead it felt like-- I don't know." He shrugs.

"Like I ambushed you with it," supplies Jack, eyebrows raised. He bends down to get a pan out of the cupboard. "Like...I didn't give you an opportunity to say no?"

"Pretty much." He shrugs. "So I made a shitty, spur of the moment choice to answer your shitty, spur of the moment choice."

"Yeah," says Jack, putting the pan on the heat, nodding. "I'm never going to put you in that position again."

Poison nods. "And I know you said you wouldn't want to do that again, but seriously, if you ever do... I want to talk about it. Ahead of time." He watches him. "I love you, Jack."

It feels like a knot relaxes in his chest. Jack nods.

"Promise. I love you too."

Poison reaches to touch Jack's shoulder and scoots closer to kiss him there. "We're gonna be okay. Just... be patient as I come back around."

"I can do patient," says Jack, trying to find that zen place inside of him. He glances up at Poison, flashes a faint smile. "I love you more than anything." He starts cooking assembling ingredients in the pan.

"When you can leave that for a second, c'mere."

Poison waits, and as soon as Jack's close enough he pulls him between his legs and gently cradles his face. His thumbs brush across Jack's cheeks as he leans in, kissing him. When he pulls back he rests his forehead against Jack's.

"We're gonna be okay."

Jack leans into the touch carefully, the kiss. When Poison leans his forehead against his, he closes his eyes, fighting tears again.

"Promise?"

Poison nods. "I promise." He kisses Jack again and pulls him closer as he scoots toward the edge of the counter. He wants to feel close.

The food can take care of itself for a moment. Jack wraps his arms around Poison, tucking his chin over his shoulder, holding him close. His hand rubs in a slow circle against Poison's back, feeling the knobbles of his spine through the thin stuff of his t-shirt.

He pulled back enough to guide Jack into another kiss. This one had an edge of need to it. A part of Poison just... wants to feel wanted. Wants - needs - to know that Jack is still into him, that he hasn't changed his mind, that he hasn't found someone he wants more. He needs comfort, and he tries to find it in that kiss.

Jack doesn't question what's happening here, why the sudden about turn. He cradles Poison's face with one hand, nudging the kiss a little deeper, a soft noise slipping out, muffled by Poison's mouth.

Poison parts his lips to let the kiss get deeper and his fingers tangle in Jack's hair. Then he pulls back, breaking it. "Sorry," he gasps, heat flooding his cheeks.

"Don't say sorry," says Jack, swallowing, looking up at him. "I mean, I'm going to burn breakfast if I don't do something about it, but...shit, Poison. You don't have to be sorry for that."

"Don't burn breakfast," he says with a weak laugh; there might have been the edge of tears in the sound.

"Fuck breakfast," says Jack, turning so that he can nudge the pan off the heat, but then giving his full attention back to Poison. He kisses him again, the corner of his mouth, his jaw. "What do you need, baby?"