(no subject)

[rockabillyboy]

"I'm pretty sure that Kavinsky's in love with me."

He blurts it out, all of a sudden, lying on his side in bed with a movie playing on the laptop. He rolls over to look up at Poison, eyebrows raised. "I mean, I know he is. But...it's not a big deal. It's not. It's just...something I'm not okay with you not knowing anymore."

He blurts it out. And then he waits.

Comments

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Don't fall in love with him." It comes out as a whisper, a plea. He can be okay with a lot of things. He's not sure about that one, though. He huffed a weak laugh. "Sorry, ignore that. I can't ask someone that."

He scrubs his face with his hands, trying to think.

"Don't get too vulnerable, not at first. I mean. I know you're really into a lot of humiliation stuff, just. Be careful with it I guess. For a while. Unless I get to bet there too." Which maybe isn't fair to ask, but he's not even saying he has to be involved. He just wants to be close. "Don't-- don't let him hurt you a lot."

What the fuck is he even saying?

[rockabillyboy]

"He wouldn't hurt me." He says it quietly, but it's designed to reassure. He knows that, in Kavinsky, there is something violent held in check. But he also knows how Kavinsky looks at him.

"All of that feels pretty reasonable, baby."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"And you have to tell me," he murmurs. "You have to tell me if you're not gonna be around, or if-- if you're not coming home or if you need to ask for something. You need to check in with me. You can't just-- just disappear."

Some of that is reasonable, right? Jack has his own apartment so maybe it's weird to demand to know if he's not coming home, but he's already said it.

[rockabillyboy]

"I will tell you," says Jack, coming the hair back from Poison's face. "I'll check in. Do you need to know if I'm spending time with him during the day or just if I'm going to be somewhere else at night?"

On 1 September 2016 at 18:59, afabulouskilljoy - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Just if you're not gonna be around at night. I don't need to keep tabs on you twenty four-seven. He's your friend. It'd be weird if you weren't hanging out, and it'd be weird if you had to tell me all the time that you're hanging out."

[rockabillyboy]

"This isn't just hanging out and you know it," says Jack, his tone gentle. "It's okay if you want to know what's happening when. Or...if you don't want to know."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"But I can't like... police that. Can I?" he looks over at Jack, sincerely asking. "He's your friend. And I--" Fuck. He huffs a sigh and looks at the ceiling again. "I guess- I don't know what you want to be with him, Jack. Like if you guys are gonna want to run around like boyfriends or be friends that fuck on occasion."

[rockabillyboy]

"I've got one boyfriend," says Jack, firmly. "Not looking for another one." He tucks his fingers under the hem of Poison's t-shirt so that he can touch his bare skin, looking to feel grounded.

[afabulouskilljoy]

He laughs weakly. "This is hard." Doing it this way, trying to negotiate it after the fact. Poison turns, pulling Jack into a kiss. He needs it right then.

"Do you think this'll be... permanent?"

Maybe some secret part of him hopes that this will run its course somehow. But that doesn't feel fair, either.

[rockabillyboy]

He rolls one shoulder in a shrug, leaning in to chase the kiss a little, pressing another against the corner of Poison's mouth.

"Guess I don't know until I start."

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison nods. He shouldn't have asked that. He touches his forehead against Jack's. Why does he feel so miserable? Philosophically, he's totally okay with what they're talking about. He leans in to catch another kiss, lingering for a moment.

[rockabillyboy]

Jack frowns, his fingers stroking lightly against the small of Poison's back.

"What's that look for, baby?"

[afabulouskilljoy]

"I don't know how soon you can like... start this, if I say yes," he answers. "Like, even if I said okay tomorrow, I don't know if I'd be okay with you just like... darting off to go fool around or something. It needs more distance. I need-- will you let me decide when the light is green?"

[rockabillyboy]

"Yeah," says Jack, without hesitation. He squeezes Poison's hip. "Of course I'll let you decide."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"That's really okay?" Poison frowns a little as he meets Jack's gaze. "That's not-- infringing?" That's not the word he wants and the helpless tone hopefully conveys that, but he's trying.

[rockabillyboy]

"If that's something that you need then it's really okay, baby," says Jack, gently, making sure that he makes eye-contact. "I promise."

[afabulouskilljoy]

He nods and sinks down again, eyes drifting back up to the ceiling. "Okay," he says quietly. They can do this. It'll work, and it'll be fine. "Still trying to be okay with asking for time," he admits.

[rockabillyboy]

"I know you don't like being the person who's making rules and putting boundaries on this, but...I think it's what we both need. For you to have some agency, for me to know where the edges are." He presses a kiss against the graceful point of Poison's nose. "Would you rather I stay away from the heavy kinky stuff altogether?"

[afabulouskilljoy]

"For now?" he says, looking and sounding a little helpless. "Maybe-- maybe once we - I? - get more comfortable it'll be fine." Poison feels an awkward blush warming his face.

[rockabillyboy]

"I can do that," he says, hating how unbalanced and off Poison sounds right then. "Do you want to know about what we do, or...?"

[afabulouskilljoy]

"I'll let you know," he says. "Like... I'll ask, y'know?" And he's sure he might - he could get playful, he could get dirty. He just has to be comfortable first.

He lifts an eyebrow. "Do you wanna know? If I'm with someone else?"

[rockabillyboy]

"Yeah," says Jack, nodding immediately. "Same deal. If you're with someone else, I want to know about it."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Yeah, but how much do you want to know, is what I'm asking." Poison shrugs a bit. "What boundaries do you want in place for me? What rules do you want for me?"

Maybe it's too soon to ask all that of Jack, but he wants him to know this does work both ways. The freedom and the rules.

[rockabillyboy]

"I want to know who you're with, but I don't think I want to know details, necessarily." That might change, in the moment, but for right now? "Don't let anyone hurt you. Don't fall in love with anyone."

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison nods, and then he can't help but smile. "I'm all yours, baby." He leans to kiss Jack, sweet and lingering. "What kind of hurt are we talking about?"